Things have been bad between Metallica and me for quite a long time now. In fact, I have a hard time remembering when our time together was truly enjoyable and untainted by bitter regret. When I think back, the days when we would just hang out and enjoy the gifts the Gods of Heavy Metal gave to young men of our generation seem fuzzy in my memory and it's hard to conjure up the feelings in my heart that used to come so freely. It's gotten so bad that even when we find ourselves alone in the car (purely by chance... it's never planned...not any more) I can barely summon the energy to play a little air guitar or play the drum parts on the steering wheel and/or dash board.
What happened?
It wasn't the Napster thing. Sure that whole mess was awful and Metallica were key players in bringing about the end of a truly fun and carefree era. Not to mention the fact that Lars Ulrich proved himself to be one of the most insufferable and humorless pricks to ever draw sweet sweet smoke through a tour bus bong.
No. It wasn't that.
Could it be that I've gotten older?
Nah.
I've found that despite my advancing age and the widened musical tastes and wisdom that accompany it I am still able to enjoy the cheesiest of cock rock anthems as if they were released only yesterday. Shit, I can even tolerate Bon Jovi in small doses. I still rock out like a god damned moron when I hear a loud guitar.
It isn't me.
So what then?
Oh wait....maybe it's because the last few Metallica albums have profoundly SUCKED.
The Black Album started the downward slide. Being the first Metallica album to fail to improve on the last in any way it was where the cracks in our relationships started to appear. Sure they had lots of new fans and I am sure they enjoyed the hell out of those cheap whores who didn't know Kill 'Em All from a hole in the wall (God that was lame) but I knew right then it would never be the same.
It wasn't.
Load. Reload. Some piece of shit live album that couldn't have been a more obvious attempt to make people pay for songs they already owned twice (Not that most of us weren't vindictively downloading them for free by then) It got so bad that I never even considered listening to St. Anger, the album that was supposed to be the "Return of the real Metallica".
FYI, guys....The real Metallica recorded songs with guitar solos in them.
Don't get me wrong...releasing a few shitty albums is not the kiss of death for your average band, but when said band has raised the bar so high there are expectations put upon them by their fans that must be met. The cardinal expectation being: never change. If you must change, do it gradually and learn from your mistakes. You might even consider listening to your fans. The fact is that you sold yourselves to us a long time ago and we own you forever. The terms of sale require that you deliver the product we want regardless of your personal desires and creative yearnings. Yes...it's stifling. We know you're capable of so much more, but we don't care. If it makes you feel better you can become bitter and treat us with contempt...it seems to work quite well for Pete Townshend.
It looks like the newest release (Due on September 12th) may be indicative of the fact that Metallica is finally starting to miss me. Ditching that shithead Bob Rock was a good start. Adding a badass like Robert Trujillo to the lineup was a sure fire way to get me interested and little bit of Rick Rubin never hurt anyone.
Allowing preview songs to appear on iTunes has also shown their willingness to come to terms with the horrible horrible demon known as digital music. All good signs.
Put them together with some stupid lyrics and over the top guitars and I am yours.
It might be time for me to give a little.
I have been a hard-ass long enough and I think I am going to give Metallica another chance.
Look for me at Best Buy this Saturday standing in line with a shiny new copy of Death Magnetic in my filthy mitts.
Yes....I am actually going to pay for it.
1 day ago
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