Ok, I am going to take a break from the low rent Dave Barry thing and do a post about food....well restaurants actually...and it might turn into a rant.
Maybe not though. Read on!
Orange County(NY) may not be a restaurant Mecca like NYC but there are a few things we have here that are pretty special and may be taken for granted by people who have never left the beautiful haven of Southeastern New York to take up residence in food poor areas of the country. The most prominent thing, in my mind, is the abundance of pizza joints. They're everywhere. Some are great, some are the kind of places where you just know the pizza guy took a dump, walked right past the bathroom sink, and sunk his hands straight into your large sausage with mushrooms. For the most part though, you can walk into any pizza place in Orange County (well, maybe even the whole Northeast) and be assured that you will be eating something that at least resembles what real pizza should be. Invariably, along side this pizza will be the ruling triumvirate of the hot sandwich kingdom: Chicken Parmesan, Meatball Parmesan, and Sausage and Peppers. Always there, always reliable, and always ready in about 10 minutes.
This doesn't happen everywhere.
There are large swaths of territory in this country where the pizza joint is either non-existent or a stygian torture chamber where dough goes to die. You can't wake up after happy hour in Northern California, grab the phone in that semi-drunk semi-hungover stupor, and order up a hot meatball sandwich. Ditto for anywhere south of the I-Hop/Waffle House line and anywhere in the Southwest. I must admit that my experience in the Midwest has been limited to Chicago and their incredibly silly (but delicious) version of "pizza", but just driving through places like Ohio and Indiana left me with a very strong feeling that I was surrounded by people who think Pizza Hut makes the best damn pies in the world. In case you were wondering, we have a name for people like this. They're called "Fucking Idiots" No offense to real pizza loving New York idiots intended.
Of course other areas of the country have their own regional quirks and specialty foods that you can't find around here and the lack of any Thai food in the area is maddening, but good pizza and saucy hot sandwiches are something we should treasure.
Hold on one moment though.
Before you run around slapping all your local pizza dudes on the back and/or offering them oral sex for being so super awesome we need to talk about the downside of this phenomenon.
Specifically, the Italian influence on Orange County fine dining.
There are relatively few establishments in The OC (Yeah, I call it that now) that can claim to be purveyors of fine food and the fine dining experience and with only a few exceptions the bulk of the successful ones feature "Northern Italian" cuisine. Don't get me wrong, I love this kind of food and there is a restaurant in Goshen that deftly serves some of the best Nor-Tal grub I have ever eaten. I am referring to Il Tesoro which not only features fantastic food, but is owned and operated by one of the most capable and professional restaurant people I have encountered anywhere. This is great and I would be happier than Roger Clemens with a 14 year old country singer if this were one of many different kinds of restaurants competing for my fine dining dollar, but the fact remains that for every nice non-Italian restaurant there are two or three places serving the very same kind of food. Sure there have been attempts to open local minds, but most of these maverick establishments fold soon after I discover them and proclaim their magnificence to everyone I know.
Frankly, it's getting boring.
I know it's an uphill battle though. Just listening to people rave about a mediocre place like La Vera Cucina has made me realize that the average local resident is happiest when the comida piled on their plate is not only familiar, but served in great abundance. It seems the only real requirements for satisfaction at this place are that the food be Italian and served in a nice room.
(Forgive me if I seem to be harboring a particular dislike for this restaurant, but I can't stand to hear the constant gushing over a place that not only serves up some of the most uninspired crap in Orange County, but can't even cook a fucking steak. To those of you who would tell me that you don't order steak at an Italian restaurant I would ask that you do two things: 1. Go to Il Tesoro and order the Tuscan Steak. 2. Show proper contrition when you come back and tell me it was one of the best steaks you've ever stuffed in your ignorant gob.)
So much for not ranting.
I know I sound a little bit negative and I realize that what I consider a lack of variety is still better than living in a place that doesn't have any decent restaurants at all (Western Virginia, I'm looking at you), but I refuse to stop imagining a day when there are more than 5 or 6 really nice restaurants in this county that don't all serve the same thing. A really good French restaurant would be an excellent start.
A lot is going to have to change before that ever happens.
1 day ago
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